It’s been a while since I wrote something here, and also the same for visiting your blogs, my dear readers. I have a good excuse, something that has prevented me from knitting or sewing, and I can say that not even a single stitch has been produced since then. On May 27th, due to a neighbor and a plumber, Gerry escaped through the bathroom window. He was inside his cage when the plumber was at home, but then I was asked to go to the neighbor upstairs to request him to flush, and then it all happened. Gerry escaped from his cage, crossed the stupid curtain that we installed in the living room and went to the bathroom looking for me. He found two strangers and left.

I was able to see him perched on the window of another neighbor, but when I tried to get there he got scared and flew away. A couple of hours later I heard him on a tree on the square in front of our place so I asked some neighbors in the building closest to the tree if I could go upstairs. I could see him there, overexcited about all the images and sounds. He screamed at me a couple of times and flew away over a high building. That was the last I saw from him.

We walked the streets with birds sound, played birds sounds on our terrace for more than a week and put papers on the street. It was kind of hard because the street cleaners remove them almost everyday, but we at least try. There were a couple of false alarms, but Gerry did not appear.

I can’t express with words how all this made me feel. It still hurts in a way I didn’t experiment for a very long time. It may sound very strong, but I felt like I was losing a child. My child. My beloved child. He was already with us when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I couldn’t go out a lot but I didn’t care because he was with me. I usually work from home, so we spent all day together. I spent more hours with Gerry than with my own boyfriend. He was wild in his own way, but he allowed me in his little world in a way that he didn’t allow anybody else. He was a mommy’s boy, my mommy’s boy. And now he’s lost. And time goes by, and I’m losing hope.

The first think I wanted, of course, was for him to come back. The second was losing my memory, because continuing with my life remembering all those moments together was unbearable.

There are a couple of parks in Madrid where escaped parrots live, but I can’t know if he made it there. They are about 2 km from my home. I also don’t know if somebody caught him of if he got inside an apartment through an open window (it’s very warm here). I don’t know anything, and the uncertainty is killing me.

I guess I can only expect to heal from this but for now I can’t imagine how I’m going to do it. The first week I couldn’t stop crying, and I didn’t sleep a night without waking up with a racing heart at least three or four times. I was prepared to share at least 15 years with him, but that is not happening.

My baby is gone, and I don’t know how to cope with it. Who’s going to scratch his head in the way he likes?

I can’t even bear to watch pictures of him, so I won’t share any in this post.

The house felt too empty that we decided to adopt two baby lovebirds. We need to feed them several times a day and they keep us busy (and sane, I hope), but they can’t replace my Gerry, because Gerry was my baby, my love; and we shared so many things that I couldn’t even start to write them down. Every day there was an anecdote that made the day special. We had a special connection, and now I’m lost.

So if you don’t see me commenting on your blogs, please excuse me, I am not even able to function normally, and I can’t knit or sew because I miss my sewing buddy. Even nowadays I surprise myself from time to time with some cry bursts. We installed a door where the stupid curtain used to be. But it’s too late. Too late for me, too late for him.

How to mend a broken heart?


  1. Oh, Elena, I’m so sorry! I know just how you feel without your friend, only I never lost any of my animals. They died and I knew what happened to them. I can tell you you will slowly start to function again and that the pain will lessen, but I’m not sure that helps right now. Please know, your other friends, online, are thinking about you. It may seem silly to some people, but I will pray that you find him. I think we are given this ability to strongly attach to people and animals by God and that He is pleased with our care for them. And your care for Gerry was very gentle and loving. Thinking about you, Michelle

    1. Thank you for your words, Michelle. It’s indeed hard and one day I will get over it, it’s just that I can’t imagine that now. I wanted the best for him, I had to protect him, and failed. Thank you, again.

  2. Oh Elena. Lo siento mucho . Se lo que se siente perder a un compañero incondicional. Que sepas q tienes todo el amor y soporte de mi.

    1. Muchas gracias, Sandra. Es cierto que lo que se siente sólo lo sabe el que ha pasado por ello. Siento que tú hayas pasado por algo parecido.

      Por cierto, he visitado tu blog nuevo y me gusta mucho. Y otra cosa, estos dos días estoy más cerca de ti. He tenido que venir tres días a Bruselas por trabajo. Se hace raro.


      1. Hola Elena, me alegra que te gustara la nueva cara del blog, el el antiguo me quedé sin espacio y pensé que sería mejor mudarme a un nuevo sitio dedicado al 100 a mi pasión por coser, ya sabes que aires nuevos siempre motivan mucho. Oye! si algún día vienes a Holanda y tienes tiempo me avisas, igual para tomarnos algo y conocernos, sería genial.
        un beso y un abrazote!

  3. This is so sad to read… I hope that he is fine that you will feel better soon! I’m so sorry for you, he was so cute and you had such a strong connection.

  4. I’m so sorry about Gerry, and completely understand how you feel. I was inconsolable when my cat died. He was my buddy too, and I missed him terribly. But getting the baby birds was a great idea, it will help to distract you. And you learn to live with this, it will just take some time. x

  5. I’m so sorry you lost your companion, pobrecita :o( I hope you find an interest to sew and knit and blog some more, we’ll still love to see your face and your new little friends when you are ready.

  6. so so so sorry Elena, I was a bit worried for you cause I felt what Gerry was for you through your blog posts and IG.
    He will be surely missed and I think he still is, but I hope somehow you will find a place in your heart for the other two lovebirds you now have.
    I pray for Gerry, whenever he is, either to have found a new home where he is loved even a quarter you loved him or to get back to you as soon as possible.
    take care darling and a big hug for you!!

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